


For All Time

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: Drama, M/M, Romance, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-05-23
Updated: 1999-05-23
Packaged: 2018-11-10 18:38:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11132493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived atDue South Archive. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address onDue South Archive collection profile.





	For All Time

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

For All Time
    
    
      Warning this is a relatively tame m/m story. 
    Hope you enjoy it. 
    
    Hi!
    Well its me "again".  Forcing some more of my handiwork onto this List.
    I believe it was James who wanted a hurt/comfort story a while back and
    we were given a piece called THUNDER AND WHISPERS (very nice!).  Well
    here's a hurt/comfort that I have to say  Be careful what you wish for:
    Red alert!  Red alert!  Major sap and wallow!  Warning this one has tame
    m/m and m/f.

# FOR ALL TIME
    
    
    He really missed that mountie.  They hadn't been
    apart this long before.  He must have really pissed
    off Welsh to have gotten this month long
    assignment.  What rotten timing this police officer
    exchange program had been.  When he originally got
    notice of the assignment, he was really upset that
    it would mean missing Ben's birthday.  So he was
    ecstatic when he found out just a couple of days
    ago, that they pushed up the last day of his trip.
    It coincided nicely with his lover's birthday
    today.  He'd just make it afterall.  He hadn't told
    Ben yet, because he wanted to surprise him.  As
    soon as it was humanly possible for him to leave,
    he grabbed the next available flight out of
    Nowhere, USA.  It was late in the evening when the
    taxi dropped him off at his friend's apartment
    complex.  Taking his 2 bags out of the trunk, he
    headed towards the building.
    
    He felt something tugging at his jacket as he
    entered the front door of the complex.  Startled
    and puzzled at first, he looked down to see that it
    was just Diefenbaker.  He smiled at the wolf,
    "Yeah, hello to you too Dief.  Hey, lay off the
    coat will ya.  I've ruined enough clothes because
    of your master; don't you start with me too."  Dief
    was acting kind of peculiar.  "So whatch'ya doing
    down here Dief?", Ray said, as he looked around for
    any sign of his friend nearby.
    
    The wolf decided to keep him company on the way up
    to Fraser's apartment.  During the ride in the
    elevator, Ray noticed the wolf looking sadly up at
    him.  "Don't let this get to your head, but I
    actually missed you too.", he reached down to pat
    the furry head.  As he neared his friend's door,
    Dief was acting even more weird.  He kept running
    underfoot, as if he were trying to block him from
    going to Fraser's apartment.  The wolf was whining
    a bit now and it looked almost as if he were afraid
    to go any further.
    
    Ray placed the suitcases down at the side of his
    friend's door.  He was starting to get a bad
    feeling in the pit of his stomach.  He checked his
    gun in its holster and readied it for quick access
    should he need it.  He stood away from the center
    of the door and rapped on it.  It was taking a
    little while to open.  He was ready to kick it in
    at any second.  When it finally opened, he breathed
    a sigh of relief to see his friend and lover
    standing there.  A slightly dishevelled Fraser had
    the door open, but not all the way, with his arm
    blocking entry.  Ray was thrilled to see his
    friend.  It was so good to see that beautiful face
    again.  A beaming Ray reached into his coat pocket
    and pulled out a small wrapped box.  He handed it
    to Ben, "I got a reprieve and sent home early for
    good behavior.  Happy Birthday Benny!"  He wanted
    so badly to kiss his friend, but not in the
    hallway, where someone like Mr. Mustafi would see
    them.
    
    "Hello Ray", Ben said coldly, as if they hadn't
    been separated for almost a month.  That's when he
    realized Ben wasn't letting him in either.  That
    sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach was
    coming back.  From what little he could see into
    the apartment, he noticed there was someone moving
    around inside.  "Benny?"  Fraser spoke in a quick
    hushed tone, "Its not a good time now.  I'll talk
    to you tomorrow."  Ray had been dumped enough times
    in his life that he started to see the signs.  As
    soon as he saw a better glimpse of the guest in
    Fraser's apartment, he never felt so hurt and angry
    in his life.  He didn't give Fraser a chance to say
    anything more, "Don't bother Benny.  To hell with
    you.  Have a nice life.".  He quickly picked up his
    luggage and stormed off.  He could hear Dief bark
    angrily at Fraser, and the wolf bounded to his side
    in seconds.  Ray smiled wickedly to himself before
    turning around again, "That goes for your wolf
    too."  And he retreated into the elevator slamming
    it shut.
    
    Fraser still looked out from the door, even after
    his 2 best friends were long gone.  His ex-friends,
    he sadly reminded himself.  He was in a state of
    shock.  Why didn't he call or go after them?  Why
    did he feel like he'd been paralyzed from head to
    foot and struck mute?  The devastated look on Ray's
    face haunted him as he closed his eyes briefly and
    leaned his head against his arm at the door.  Arms
    reached around his waist and pulled him away from
    the door.  "Ben?  Ben!  Are you still with me Ben?
    Don't let them upset you.  You're with me now."
    She turned him to face her for a kiss.  But the
    fire was missing.  "I can't believe you stayed
    friends with that man, after what he did to us.  He
    almost killed you Ben and because of him we were
    kept apart far too long.  Good riddance to him."
    She tried to take the gift Ray gave him from his
    hand, but he clutched to it as if his life depended
    on it, so she let it be.  He sighed deeply, "Ill be
    alright."  This time he initiated the kiss, as she
    led him to the bed nearby.  The gift was placed on
    the sidetable and forgotten.
    
    Ray flagged a taxi.  At his house, he stopped on
    the porch,not wanting to go inside just yet.
    Going to the darkest corner, he sat in a chair he
    knew was there. He hadn't planned on seeing his
    family until the next day.  This definitely was not
    the way he pictured this night.  He had envisioned
    a surprised Fraser glad to have him back in his
    arms.  He didn't expect to be dumped by him and
    sent away... forever... out of his life.  When had
    that bitch Victoria come back?   He should have
    seen this coming; that she would eventually come
    back to reclaim her trained 'pet' .  How could he
    still love that woman?  Talking quietly to the
    wolf, "I guess I was just a rebound fling."  Man,
    this was beginning to hurt worse than Irene or
    Angie.  At least with them, he knew that they still
    held some love for him.  Just circumstances didn't
    work out in their favor.  With Fraser, he thought
    he'd found his soulmate.  Guess it wasn't
    reciprocated.  He felt like such a fool, to think
    Victoria was out of his system.  He should have
    known better than to allow himself to get so deeply
    involved with this one.  He leaned over and hugged
    Dief, "Thanks Dief.  I know you understand.  You're
    welcome to stay with me."
    
    The door to the porch opened and his mother was
    there, with something strange silhouetted in her
    hands.  She called out, "I have a shotgun and I
    know how to use it.  Come out from there!"  Ray
    couldn't help but laugh, "Ma, you wouldn't shoot
    your favorite son would you?"  It was so good to
    see her again.  He hadn't realized how much he
    missed her until then.  He got as close to her as
    the mop in her hand would allow.  She put it down
    and pulled him into the warmest hug and gave him an
    affectionate kiss on the cheek.  He really needed
    this.  "Raymondo, I missed you so much.  Why didn't
    you tell me you were coming home early?  If you had
    I could have had Tony pick you up at the airport
    and I would have made your favorite.  Ah.  You're
    too thin.  What were they feeding you in that
    place?  Come inside.."  She stopped mid-sentence
    noticing something was amiss.  The way she had of
    reading him so well scared him sometimes.  "What's
    wrong?  Mi cuore, talk to me."
    
    She led him back to the porch chairs.  "Its nothing
    ma.", he lied.  "Its 'not' nothing.  Tell me."; she
    never took 'nothing' as an answer.  His eyes
    shifted down sadly as he quietly said, "I just lost
    a friend."  At those words she noticed that Ray had
    Dief with him.  "Oh God no.  Not Benton.  I'm so
    sorry tesoro.  I know how special he was to you."
    She was sincerely saddened as she placed an arm
    around his shoulders and pulled him close.  She
    really liked the mountie and was glad her Raymondo
    had had such a friend.  "I'm sure he's in heaven
    now.  He was such a good man."  Ray realized then
    that his mother must have misunderstood.  His being
    home early and her seeing Dief, she probably
    assumed the worst and that he got custody of the
    wolf.  "No ma, he's not dead. It just feels that
    way to me."  He had a hard time with this next
    part.  Trying to ignore the bile taste the words
    produced, "Victoria's got her claws in him again.
    And I just couldn't take it.  I told him off.  And
    told him I didn't ever want to see him again.  Dief
    felt the same way and here we are."   "Oh, my poor
    Raymondo.  I had prayed that devil wouldn't show
    her face around here again.  I understand now.  Ah,
    but he needs a friend like you more than ever now
    Raymondo.  But I fear for him and for you, if you
    get in that woman's way.  But you follow what is in
    your heart; its steered you right before."
    "Thanks ma.", he gave her cheek a peck.  "Come
    inside now and say hello to the rest of the family.
    We've all missed you.  Its been so quiet around
    here without you.", she laughed at that.  "Do you
    believe me?"  "Ma, it couldn't be quiet in this
    house if our lives depended on it."  He joined her
    laugh and went inside to be among those who loved
    him.
      
    It was early morning. Victoria had left him a short
    time ago.  Ben hadn't really been able to sleep.
    He kept replaying the scene with Ray earlier.  What
    had he done?  When he came home from a non-eventful
    day at the consulate this afternoon, he thought he
    was just going to spend a quiet evening at home
    reading.  So it had been his birthday. He never
    really celebrated it before, so why bother now?
    Ray had been so upset a month earlier when he
    wasn't going to be here for it.  Ray could be so
    fiery and maddening at times, but he had the most
    wonderful spirit, generous heart and thoughtful
    nature. He had to admit to himself, that Ray was
    also a very good lover. Being with Victoria tonight
    he was reminded of this. It just wasn't the same
    any more between them.  So why did he feel as if
    Victoria still had his heart?  What was he trying
    to hide from himself?
    
    Turning his head to look out the window, the
    wrapped gift caught his eye.  He tried to ignore
    it.  But it just wouldn't go away.  He reached over
    to switch on the light and took the small package
    in his hand.  His hand was trembling a little as he
    opened it.  Inside the box was a beautiful
    practical watch.  It had some really unique handy
    features to it.  He smiled when he found that it
    had a compass as well.  It reminded him of the time
    when he and Ray were stranded in the wilderness and
    they had lost their compass.  A stab of guilt hit
    him at the remembrance.  Ray had been so good to
    him then.  Had been too good to him so many times.
    Some things about that time they were stranded was
    a blur, but he did know that Ray had carried him
    most of the way through the wilderness. They
    survived that ordeal, because they were a team.
    Another twinge of guilt hit him.  Not any more.
    He'd ruined that.  It hurt to think that Ray would
    no longer be a part of his life.  Why did he cast
    him away as fast as he did?  Probably a hint of his
    worrying about the controversial lifestyle he'd
    found himself in.  Perhaps figured that if he was
    still attracted to Victoria, then he must not
    really be homosexual.
    
    He turned the watch around in his hands and that's
    when he noticed the inscription:  "B, For all Time,
    R"   A lump formed in his throat and he swallowed
    hard, "Oh Ray, you're such a romantic.  I guess I
    was a big disappointment, hunh?  I didn't even give
    you the time of day today."  He felt terrible.  He
    knew what he wanted now and it wasn't with
    Victoria.  He smiled to himself and placed the
    watch on his wrist.  He would force Ray to talk to
    him tomorrow... or the next day or the day after
    that.  He wouldn't give up.  He hoped he hadn't
    damaged Ray, so much that it was something that
    they couldn't work through.  He reminded himself of
    all the tough times they'd gone through together
    before.  Especially the first time Victoria
    disrupted their lives.  These times had only seemed
    to strengthen their relationship.  So much so, that
    it led to their eventually discovering that there
    was more to their friendship than they originally
    thought.  There was a deep attraction and love for
    one another as well.  He decided he'd win Ray back
    or die trying.  With that decision, he felt as if a
    key had been turned and he was set free.  He
    switched off the light. He'd worry about what to do
    about Victoria in the morning.  Right now he just
    wanted his last thoughts, as he dropped off to
    sleep, to be of his true lover .
    
    It was 7:30 AM, Ray walked out from his home ready
    to start the day.  He was going to check in at the
    precinct to let them know that he was back and get
    filled in on all the office gossip.  He was
    actually excited about going there.  That was a
    rarity, he laughed to himself.  As he walked down
    the steps he was passed by Dief, who seemed to be
    sticking to him like glue since last night.  He
    wouldn't let Ray out of his sight.  Dief stopped
    suddenly and scared him with the ferocity of the
    deep nasty growl that was coming out of him, as he
    bolted like lightening.  He started to look behind
    him, hand just barely on his holster, to see where
    Dief had gone.  But it was too late.  The shot rang
    out and he fell.  A burning sensation in his back.
    In a weird fog, he could hear his mother cry out
    his name and then she was holding him in her lap.
    Rocking him.  Begging him to hold on.  He whispered
    to her "Don't worry ma.  I'll be back in time for
    dinner."  It was a promise he'd made to her a
    number of times.  It was their secret code to
    promise her that he'd be careful at work, because
    he knew she worried about his profession and it was
    his biggest responsibility to come home.  He felt
    like he was still falling and it was getting hard
    to focus.  He started to feel numb all over.  And
    then began to shiver.  Everything was gradually
    going black.
    
    The paramedics got there within minutes.  A police
    car pulled up shortly thereafter; followed by an
    ambulance chasing tv news crew.  The medical team
    smoothly parted the chaos of people gathered in
    front of the house.  They approached Mrs Vecchio,
    who was still protectively and possessively holding
    on to her son.  One of the team gently removed him
    from her desperate grip.  His color was wrong.  He
    was barely breathing.  He looked like he was on the
    edge.  They prepped him and placed him in the
    ambulance.  Frantically they worked on him as they
    sped to the hospital, but it was as if he didn't
    want to make the effort to live any more.  Then he
    slipped out of their capable hands and was gone.
    
    He had gotten to the consulate at 7 AM and slightly
    thereafter began having an overwhelming strange
    feeling that he desperately needed to see Ray.  It
    was distracting him and couldn't wait.  It was
    unusual for him to ask for a partial vacation day
    and he was surprised that it was granted to him so
    easily on such short notice.  He decided to stop at
    his apartment and change before going to visit his
    friend.  As he left his apartment, Mr. Mustafi
    stopped him in the hall, "I'm sorry about your
    friend."  Fraser replied cheerfully and
    apologetically, "Hello Mr. Mustafi.  I'm terribly
    sorry if we disturbed you last night."  His
    neighbor looked at him with sympathetic eyes, when
    it dawned on him that Fraser hadn't heard, "Oh, you
    don't know, do you?"  "Know what Mr. Mustafi?"
    "It was on the news this morning.  I'm sorry to be
    the one to tell you this Benton, but your friend
    Ray was shot and killed in front of his home this
    morning."  At the words, Fraser felt sick to his
    stomach and his legs felt like they were being
    kicked out from underneath him.   Had he heard him
    right?  No, he wasn't talking about his Ray.  It
    had to be someone else. Mr. Mustafi grabbed on to
    Fraser's arm when he started to sway.  And led him
    back into his apartment to sit down.  He brought
    Fraser a glass of water, "Can I help you Benton?".
    "Um, what?", he was in a mental fog.  He had to
    regain his composure and go to his friend.  Where
    was Ray?  The news had to have gotten it wrong.
    They were known to make mistakes on occassion.
    This had to be one of those occassions.  "Can I
    borrow your phone Mr. Mustafi?"  "Of course."  He
    started to regain his legs again and he denied his
    grief for the moment, while he took care of what
    needed to be done.  He was a mountie.  He was
    supposed to handle anything.  He had to get through
    this.  He called Ray's number at the precinct.  The
    call was forwarded to Lt Welsh.  "27th precinct, Lt
    Welsh speaking."  "Good afternoon leftennant.  This
    is Constable Fraser.  I'm looking for Ray.  I've
    been told that he's been shot."  He dreaded what he
    was about to hear next.  There was an audible sigh
    on the other end and Welsh finally spoke.  "I'm
    sorry son. But Ray was shot in the back on his way
    over this morning.  He died enroute to Cook County.
    I'm sorry. I know you and he were close. I'll miss
    him.  If it wouldn't be any trouble, would you mind
    coming down to the station.  We have a few
    questions for you." Fraser was still silent on the
    other end.  Welsh continued "Do you need a ride
    over?  Are you at home?  Or the consulate?"  Trying
    to keep his voice from wavering, but not completely
    succeeding, "I'm at home. Would it be alright if I
    stopped by to see his family first?"  "Sure.  I'll
    be over to get you in 15 minutes, if that's
    alright?"  "That's fine.  Thank-you.  Good-bye".
    
    Welsh was true to his word.  He came by to pick him
    up at the appointed time.  He was brought over to
    the Vecchio house.  As Welsh's car pulled up to it,
    Fraser could see a couple of people milling about
    and there was yellow barrier around the site where
    Ray had gone down.  It was barely away from the
    bottom of the steps.  He turned his eyes away
    quickly from the nightmare scene he was viewing.
    He tried to be objective about this, by tricking
    himself into thinking that this was just a regular
    case for him.  That he didn't know the murder
    victim, so he wouldn't be distracted by the
    emotions threatening to overwhelm him.
    
    As he got out of the car he slowly walked to the
    front of the home, which he'd been to so many times
    before.  He'd visited the Vecchios a couple of
    times recently, while Ray was out of town.  These
    people treated him as if he were a part of their
    family and he would forever be in their debt for
    that.  He had to see Mrs Vecchio.  From what Welsh
    told him on the ride over, she had been the first
    one on the scene.  As he neared the spot where Ray
    had suffered, he could see the blood that stained
    the walkway.  No longer able to fool himself, he
    rushed over to a bush out of view and threw up.
    Welsh was there next to him, with a comforting hand
    on his back.  "I'll be alright".  Who was he trying
    to convince Welsh or himself?  He went back to the
    stairs, avoiding the spot as they went to the door.
    Tony was the one who greeted them there.  As they
    entered, he quickly shut the door behind them, to
    close out the tragic site.  He led them into the
    living room, then excused himself for a few
    moments.  There were a couple of others in the
    room.  Most of them Fraser recognized as Ray's
    family and family friends, a couple of them he
    didn't.  Francesca spotted him and looked
    absolutely devastated.  She went over to him and
    without saying a word, hugged him briefly then
    walked out of the room in tears.  Tony was back,
    this time with his wife Theressa, Ray's other
    sister, wrapped securely under his arm.  Her eyes
    were red-rimmed from a recent bout of tears.  She
    seemed to be struggling to maintain her control.
    She grabbed one of Ben's hands in her own and spoke
    "Hello Benton.  I'm glad you're here.  I know you
    want to find the son-of-a-bitch who killed our Ray
    as much as we do.  We'll do whatever it takes to
    help you."  He gently squeezed her hand, "Thank-
    you.  Yes I do want to find the killer.  Lt Welsh
    has got his best working on this already.  I
    promise you, Ray's murderer will see justice.  But
    first I need to see your mother.  Is she at home?"
    Heartened by his words, "Ma's upstairs.  She's a
    strong woman, but she's pretty shook up right now.
    She was with him right after it happened and was in
    the ambulance when he.. um... died."  At the last
    word, a silent tear escaped her and she turned to
    her husband for comfort.
    
    Ben excused himself and drifted up the stairs to
    Mrs Vecchio's room.  He knocked lightly.  "Mrs
    Vecchio?  Its me Benton.".  He had to see her.  She
    was the only one who could possibly have loved Ray
    as much as he did.  And she was also the one who
    may have some pieces to this puzzle, that she may
    not even realize yet.  He hated to bother her, but
    right now he really needed her.  She called out for
    him to enter.  When he did he saw she was seated in
    an armchair near her bed facing him as he entered.
    He was expecting her to be emotional, but this
    emotion aimed at him wasn't what he expected.  At
    first she looked like a very angry mother, about to
    scold and discipline a wayward child, but then it
    alternated into a basic instinct.  This other
    emotion, made him afraid to move any closer.  He'd
    seen out in the wilds of the Territories, what
    could happen if you interfered with a mother and
    her children.  He was going to have to tread
    lightly, because she had that way about her now as
    she spoke,"You heard what 'she' did to my child?"
    He didn't know how to respond other than a literal
    "Yes Mrs. Vecchio."  It was then he registered what
    she just said, "Did you say 'she'?"  Did he hear
    her right?  She did say 'she'?  "My Raymondo is
    dead, because of you're misplaced *love*". She
    paused and caught her breath as she continued,"He
    told me about last night.  You broke his heart,
    when you threw him away for that... that..
    monster", tears were forming in her eyes.  "Are you
    sure it was Victoria?"  Afraid that Fraser was
    coming to Victoria's defense, she spoke with
    conviction, "I know in my soul it was her.  When my
    poor son shot you accidentally last year, he
    confided in me a few things.  He told me he had
    'that woman' in our house, to protect her as a
    favor to you.  But what you don't know is he told
    her then, that if she hurt you he'd kill her.  That
    was no idle threat and I'm sure she knew it.  My
    son was shot in the back.  I believe it was in
    retribution for his having tried to shoot her and
    having shot you in the back instead.  He told me
    last night that he ended your friendship, because
    you'd taken Victoria back into your life.  Benton
    don't you know what love is yet?  Its definitely
    not Victoria."
    
    Every word she said to him cut into him deeper and
    deeper.  Ray had died for his stupidity.  It was
    his mistake in confusing "an inner ear imbalance"
    with what he thought was love.  Oh God, Ray had
    died thinking that he didn't love him, but his
    worst rival.  Fraser was getting dangerously close
    now to a point where his error was going to engulf
    him in pain and grief.  He thought he learned his
    lesson the last time Victoria turned his - and
    Ray's - life upside down.  Ray had stood by him
    throughout the entire ordeal.  Had been devastated
    when he seriously injured him.  Was with him every
    day as he recuperated.  But Fraser hadn't truly
    learned his lesson then about what 'love' was.
    When the opportunity came to turn away from
    Victoria again, he didn't.  He turned away from
    real love instead. Everything she said was true.
    He could only think to say, "You're right.  I'm so
    sorry.  Forgive me.  I regret the day I ever met
    Victoria, but I will treasure always the day I met
    your son.  She will pay."  With that he turned on
    his heel and left.
    
    He felt snow blind and drifting.  He lost track of
    days.  The funeral was just a blur.  How had he
    managed to deliver a eulogy?  He recalled Ray
    telling him once, when they had been trapped in
    that flooding vault, that he had hoped Fraser would
    be the one to deliver his eulogy, if he were to
    ever die.  Unfortunately he got his wish.  When it
    came to the part where he said "And he never let me
    down.", the part he had said in the vault to Ray
    "Except once." was never said again.
    
    He hadn't told Welsh about Victoria.  He had
    answered the police detectives working on this
    case's questions.  But they didn't ask the right
    one's, so he didn't feel compelled to give them
    more than what they asked for.  The last he'd heard
    they were trying to make a case against Zucco.  He
    didn't care that he knew the truth.  Zucco could
    take care of himself or rot for all he cared.  He
    didn't talk about the Victoria connection, so that
    he'd have no interference as he used his tracking
    skills to find the woman, who had made his life not
    worth living any more.  He didn't care what
    happened to himself now.  He just had a one track
    mind.  Find her.  He was very close now, he could
    sense it.  But first he was going to make the usual
    stop he made each day.  He could find this spot
    with his eyes closed.  It was where his home was
    now.  "Hello Ray.  I still haven't found her."  He
    recounted to his friend the steps he'd undergone
    that day to find Victoria.  He caressed the cold
    stone that should have been his lover and whispered
    his usual parting remark -"I love you Ray." - as he
    turned to leave on his mission once again.
    
    Before he turned, he had seen a movement out of the
    corner of his eye and the hair on the back of his
    neck began to bristle.  She was here.  It was a
    type of sacrilege that she should even be anywhere
    near Ray.  He almost snarled, like Dief might have
    at a foe, as he faced her.  She was looking at him,
    with a bit of surprise, but then with a self-
    satisfied smile.  What she saw was a man who once
    was so impeccably neat, beautiful, and naive... now
    dishevelled, ill-groomed and with a hard wild look
    in his eyes.  She had her revenge and it was sweet.
    He wanted to know "Why?"  She obliged.
    
    When he had played games with her heart and then
    sent her to prison so many years ago, she wanted to
    make him suffer more than anyone else she'd ever
    known.  He was so smug and arrogant, with his rigid
    self-righteous principles and morals.  It was
    relatively easy to manipulate him.  But then when
    she saw him again that second time, she almost
    thought he did mean something to her.  He almost
    came with her, if it hadn't been for that annoying
    friend of his.  Since that day at the train
    station, she had planned this.  Maybe not exactly
    this way, but Ray was going to be dead in any of
    her scenarios.  At first she wanted Fraser back for
    some strange reason she couldn't fully understand.
    She thought she had him under her spell again this
    time too.  But found out he had lost his heart to
    someone else in her absence.  She knew that night
    who it was.  Ben had been a distracted lover and
    the spark was no longer there.  She caught him at
    one point in their lovemaking almost calling out
    his other lover's name. It was then she decided to
    end this game once and for all.  Killing that
    bastard Ray was the start to the finish.  She had
    Fraser right where she wanted him now.  How fitting
    it would take place in this cemetery of all places.
    She had the same gun she used to kill Ray in her
    hand pointed at him.  She had a fake suicide note
    for him in the other hand and was ready to complete
    her task.
    
    However, she failed to plan on Dief.  The wolf, who
    had been missing since the tragic day, had now
    returned.  He was circling around her without her
    noticing.  Soon after, he launched himself and
    latched onto her gun-hand with a ferocity that
    Fraser hadn't ever seen him use on any human
    before.  "Good boy Dief."  Picking up the gun that
    had now been cast aside, he felt as if he were on
    automatic pilot... a robot... as he aimed the gun
    at her heart and fired point blank a shot for each
    shot she had used on Dief and caused Ray to shoot
    into him and especially for the bullet that killed
    Ray.  Afterwards he went back to Ray's headstone,
    sat down beside it and uttered "For all time".
    Turned the gun on himself and...
    
    He couldn't breathe.  He was gasping for every
    breath.  He was panicked .  He was sweating.  He
    was shouting now...  "RAY!!!"  He sat bolt upright.
    He didn't register at first the arms that were
    holding onto him in a fierce embrace from behind
    him; and the voice in his ear trying to calm him.
    He just saw and heard chaos and death and Victoria.
    Then the quiet soothing voice finally penetrated,
    'Its ok Benny.  I'm right here.  Shhh."  The words
    were repeated a few times.  He started to relax a
    little.  As he turned into his lover's embrace, he
    placed his head on Ray's bare chest and held on.
    Ray could feel the trembling slowing down after a
    little while.  Ben had done a great job of waking
    him up by scaring the hell out of him.  But he
    didn't care about that, just the fear that was
    consuming his friend.   He'd never seen Ben this
    afraid of anything.  "Do you want to talk about
    it?"  One hand was gently caressing Ben's hair and
    then his back.  The other was wrapped protectively
    around him.  Ben started to feel a bit calmer.  His
    Ray wasn't dead.  He hadn't caused his death.
    Victoria wasn't there.  But with a start, he
    realized she could return.  He worried for Ray, if
    that day should come.  But knew in his heart that
    he wouldn't ever take Victoria back, because she
    wasn't in his heart.  Someone else was.  He
    realized now what 'love' truly was.  What he had
    had with Victoria was now in his mind permanently
    relegated as "an inner ear imbalance" as he once
    said.  Recounting the nightmare to Ray, who was a
    compassionate and witty listener, was making him
    feel better. As he shifted in his lover's arms he
    noticed, by the soft light coming in from the
    windows, the outline of a watch on the sidetable.
    He reached over for it.  Ray had given it to him
    for his birthday last night.  He had surprised Ben,
    by coming home earlier than expected after spending
    a few weeks in a police officer exchange program.
    They had had a wonderful and pleasurable reunion.
    Definitely a memorable birthday celebration, he
    grinned to himself.  He had really missed this
    Chicago cop.  He rubbed the back of the watch as if
    it were in braille and whispered to Ray - "For all
    time" - and then kissed him.  

THE END


End file.
